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Hi Everyone,
And suddenly...here we are almost at the end of August. Time seems to move oddly during this pandemic and quarantine.
We thought it would be interesting to check in with some Palisades seniors to hear how they've been faring over the past five months.
We asked each for an update, and, if they'd like, to reflect on a rose, a thorn, and a bud that they'd identified over this time. The rose would be something positive—a highlight or happiness or success; the thorn a sorrow or challenge; and the bud something—a thought, a possibility, a new experience—giving them hope.
The responses we received are thoughtful and thought-provoking. We thank each person who agreed to be interviewed: Ruth Curran, Pete Donohue, Marcia and Ralph Haight, Christine Odionu, and Helen Ryan.
Please enjoy their accounts, presented below. We plan to do another round next month, perhaps adding other prompts; if you might be willing to be interviewed, please let us know.
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Christine Odionu - The Palisades
My life before quarantine was filled with volunteering. I have been very involved with my church, Community United Methodist Church of Pacific Palisades, where I am on the governing board. I was an usher at Sunday services, and active in the craft room. I am also a board member and longtime volunteer with Palisades Alliance for Seniors.
Now most of those outlets are on pause. I still attend weekly Sunday services and monthly church governing board meetings, all via Zoom. But it’s hard for me not to be able to volunteer, especially at church.
My "rose" is the walk I take at 5:30 each morning. It’s a lift, such a boost for me. I also finds fulfillment when I'm able to help my neighbors. I pick up their prescriptions, do some grocery shopping, and walk their dogs.
A key "thorn" for me is having to wear a mask everywhere, and then watching other people not wear them, especially at the Caruso Palisades Village. Another thorn is not being able to go to movie theaters or plays, nor to attend classes at Emeritus College.
My "bud" is my hope that a vaccine will be developed by the end of year, so that we can all get back to somewhat normal.
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Helen Ryan - Rustic Canyon
I MISS YOU ALL! I miss the lectures, plays, concerts, dinners and all the other niceties that the Palisades has to offer.
Most of all I miss being closer to my family. How ironic to actually live near each other but not being able to hug, kiss or squeeze them! I have a great grandchild who I have not been able to personally see since she was just a few months old. She’s talking and walking now and won’t really know who that person is that's “Zooming” at her from the computer!
Of course my grandchildren are doing all the exciting things that grandkids do but unfortunately the enthusiasm doesn’t carry over the airwaves so well. I thrive well on minutia. Fortunately, we’ve managed to have a few celebrations such a birthdays, etc, being VERY carefully spaced and masked in the back yard, which gave me great joy.
I do live alone and am fine with it but since COVID thought it wise to have someone grocery shop and drive for me two times a week. I can only trust her to stay “clean”. I also have a terrible inconvenience and pain with a very stiff, hurtful neck and arms for almost two years now that many doctors have not been able to correct. This is REALLY bad! It even makes it difficult to read a lot. I do catch up with the TV world news but unfortunately, it’s as bad as here.
I’m very appreciative of being here, of course, and knowing that sometime, hopefully soon, things will straighten out, perhaps even for the better. Hopefully our little “Island in the Palisades” will remain fairly unscathed.
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When the pandemic began, I hoped that the nation would come together to get a handle on the spread. Instead, I've been upset to watch infection numbers spike and see that some people consider wearing masks a political statement.
I've noticed that people have very different personal risk gauges. We all have to make a decision that works for us. I acknowledge that people are making riskier decisions than I am. If my friends are seeing different people, and that group of people is seeing other people, then when I see my friends, I’m exposed to all the people they’ve seen. I think that it’s important to recognize this and not to take risks for yourself. For that reason, I’ve mostly avoided gatherings, although I appreciate my wonderful neighbors’ invitations.
My "rose": I've been appreciating Zoom, which has enabled me to continue with my classes at Emeritus and UCLA. I love the way that Zoom puts up people’s photos and names, so that I’m able to see the people in my classes. Before, I had not known most of their names, but now they’re beginning to have an identity for me.
Zoom has also enabled my family to maintain connections and traditions. Normally, I spend Easter with relatives in northern California. This year our get-together was by Zoom, and included additional relatives from out of state. It was joyful to have all of us together, and to include people who hadn’t usually been part of that gathering. In the future, even when we can be together again in person for holidays, we will continue to include by Zoom those who are further away.
Another "rose" is the increased time I have available for relaxation. I’ve been a reader all my life, but since my husband passed away five years ago, it’s been hard. Now I’m finding that I’m actually reading the books assigned for my classes.
The "thorn" in this added time is being alone with my own thoughts about troubling relationships. I’m trying to get myself to not do that; to stop thinking about someone who wasn’t nice to me and think instead of someone I value. I’ve gotten a little help from following a guided daily meditation with a centering thought.
The "bud" for me is the hope I will stay healthy and be able to see my children and grandchildren. This is my motive in not taking risks. One thing I’ve been reflecting on is that I want to take a new approach with my adolescent grandkids. I’m thinking about the relationship I want to have with them as they become adults, instead of missing the relationship I had with them when they were little.
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Marcia and Ralph Haight - Palisades Highlands
We have been staying close to home. Prior to the pandemic we had regular caregivers coming to our home; those caregivers have continued. We also have the same physical therapist coming a couple of times a week. Other than that, we seldom invite anyone in.
We've identified nine factors that have enabled us to survive this stay-at-home period:
- We take walks on the driveways and walkways of our homeowners' association.
- We limit TV watching to two hours a day, mostly news.
- While we don’t go out to eat, we have most of our meals picked up from our favorite restaurant by our caregivers.
- We continue to have weekly cleaning service provided by the same crew that has done this for years. We require the crew to wash hands on arrival, and to wear masks throughout their time at the condo.
- We call friends and family to socialize by phone or video call. We request "FaceTime". We still have a lot to learn about our iPhones, but our caregivers have been great coaches.
- Our caregivers pick up groceries as needed, and accompany us to medical appointments. They also run errands as needed.
- We stay updated on what we need to do to protect ourselves, and do it, particularly mask-wearing and frequent hand washing. We always wash our hands immediately before sitting down at the table for meals.
- We limit outside appointments, including medical appointments, to the fullest extent, deferring whenever possible.
- We use extra time to clean out and reorganize drawers and filing cabinets, something we never seemed to have time to do before.
Perhaps most important, we maintain a positive outlook.
*****
Pete Donohue - El Medio Bluffs
So a big “thorn” for me is missing all those activities that I enjoyed: the salsa and the concerts and the choir. (Actually, the choir is still meeting on Zoom and I tried that once but it turns out that you’re pretty much just singing to yourself.)
At a different level, I am troubled by what’s going on in the country—the leadership during the pandemic; climate change; stuff that could have been addressed but hasn’t been.
In terms of a “rose", I'm working to replace the things I’ve lost. I think it’s important to keep busy and to stay mentally active. I’ve gone back to playing the piano again, after 22 years. I had to learn the treble clef all over again, because as a singer I’d been in the base clef. I play every day, mostly classical music and now I’m trying a little ragtime. I would love to play jazz, but I don’t know how to improvise.
I have projects around the house, and I’m always doing maintenance at a duplex that I own. I also exercise regularly, alternating walking one day and an exercycle workout on the next day.
My big hope, my “bud”, is for a change in leadership, and for race relations to come to a better place. And of course, for the development of a vaccine. And I hope to hug my grandchildren again. I miss hugging them.
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If you would be willing to be interviewed for a subsequent newsletter, please let us know.
Please stay safe. We invite you to check our website for resources and ideas during this stay-at-home period.
Till we meet again,
Karen Stigler
for the Palisades Alliance for Seniors Board
Before undertaking this we'd need to know how many people would want to participate. If you would like to be included, please write us.